"Why Didn’t Anyone Notice Sooner?"
- Anri Louwrens
- Jul 3
- 2 min read
AuDHD in Women and Girls — and Why It’s Often Misdiagnosed
For many women, discovering they’re neurodivergent — autistic, ADHD, or both (AuDHD) — doesn’t happen in childhood. It happens much later in life:
after burnout,
depression,
or an emotional crash they couldn’t explain...
🎭 The Masked Reality
Girls are often missed in the early years because they tend to mask their differences. They observe. They mimic. They work hard to blend in.
While boys might be more outwardly hyperactive or defiant, girls are more likely to internalise their struggles.
They become:
The quiet perfectionist
The people-pleaser
The “shy” or “sensitive” one
And by the time they’re adults, they’ve mastered masking so well that even they don’t realise they’re struggling...
💥 When the Mask Cracks
Often, the first sign that something’s not right appears during a life transition:
Becoming a mother
Navigating a career
Going through a breakup
Facing burnout
Suddenly, the coping strategies no longer work.
The emotional regulation unravels...
A shutdown or meltdown happens
— and it gets mislabelled:
“You’re depressed.”
“Maybe it’s bipolar.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“It’s anxiety — take this pill...”
But what’s really going on isn’t a mood disorder — it’s a nervous system overwhelmed from years of:
camouflaging,
sensory overload, and
unmet needs!
That panic attack? It might be an autistic meltdown.
That flat, empty feeling? Possibly shutdown, not depression.
That jump from joy to despair? Could be ADHD’s emotional dysregulation — not bipolar disorder.
💡 The Power of a Proper Lens
When we shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s different about how I experience the world?” — EVERYTHING changes!
That’s where the Davis Autism Approach® and/or an Davis® Attention Mastery Programme comes in. These gentle, respectful methods help individuals understand WHY their brain works the way it does — and offer tools for:
managing overwhelm,
building self-awareness, and
creating inner balance.
And because these methods were developed by someone who lived it, they honour the lived experience of being neurodivergent — without trying to “fix” or “normalise.”
🌱 For Mothers, Daughters & Women Who Wonder
If you've ever felt:
Misunderstood, even by professionals
Like you’re “too much” and “not enough” all at once
Emotionally exhausted from holding it all together
Like you’ve been performing life, not living it
You’re not alone — and you’re not broken!
You might just be AuDHD...
💬 Join the Conversation
Whether you’re a parent, an educator, or a woman seeking answers for herself, we invite you to explore our upcoming workshop. Learn what it means to understand autism and ADHD through the lens of lived experience — and how this can lead to real, lasting change.
#LateDiagnosis #AuDHD #ADHDInWomen #AutisticWomen #DavisAutismApproach #NeurodivergentMoms #Misdiagnosed #DavisWorks #Masking #MeltdownNotAnxiety
👉 New here? You might want to start with our first post on this topic:
Comments